growing in the goo

So for the past few nights, I've been drifting asleep and I've thought about something that happened to me and E a few weeks and reflected "oooh, that would be a great blog entry." But by then, my head is settled in my pillow and the comforter is pulled up, and I'm ten seconds from the weird night life that features my dreams. So I'm too lazy/not motivated enough to get up and write about it.

With that grand introduction...here, it is. When I was last in D.C. (about three weeks ago?) E and I were meeting up with C-note for a tasty dinner. C-note had a saga with her cell phone the night before (anyone see a cute blue phone floating around in Adams Morgan? Anyone?), so E and I were waiting for her near a metro exit. We were chatting away, reflecting on life, work and lost loves, I was facing the metro escalator, E was facing the world. E's eyes suddenly grew wide and she said

"uh oh"

I turned and instantly summed up the situation with my penetrating eye. A girl, (probably 20) and a guy were sitting on a bench approximately 25 feet away. Girl in green shirt, leaning forward and speaking forcibly, her whole manner screaming "AAHHH I'm DISTRAUGHT!" from a mile away. The guy. Wearing all black, slouching, facing forward. Towards a wall. (and a girl waiting for friends, trying unsuccessfully at that moment to blend into the concrete)

Things didn't look good for our green shirted friend. Reflections abruptly ended, and E and I spent the next 10 minutes trying (in vain) to eavesdrop. We were happy that we weren't any closer, though, because then that would have been awkward.

Like that poor girl dressed in a cute shirt and jeans who was standing at the wall 7 feet from the bench...she was trying her hardest to look uninterested, but E and I knew that any girl worth her salt would have her antennae up.

From our distance, we could see tears, also see that the guy was just sitting on the bench while it seemed like the girl was pouring her heart out. We felt so bad for the girl, we were tempted to walk over and be like "FORGET HIM! You deserve someone so much better! Someone who looks at you when you're talking!!"

E and I got distracted, but then the male half of the ill-fated couple got up and walked fast to the street corner, in an effort to get away. That caught our eye. Then the girl jumped up as well.

At this point, I could contain myself no longer. I mean, she could make a tragic mistake! I shouted "Nooooooo!!!! Don't chase after him!!" Alas, she did. And the drama became french farce-like, because the chase ended at the corner, since the "do not cross" orange hand had popped up.

Green shirt girl didn't hear me, but cute shirt girl happened to and she started talking to me and E. She said "I knoooowww!!" and at that moment, a brief friendship was forged. We walked over, and we had an instant bonding session right there in front of the recently vacated bench.

It turns out that the two were in fact fighting, and that the guy jumped up because green shirt had just tried to slap him. Oh! The unexpected passion! She didn't look like she had that spirit (psychoticness?) in her.

Cute shirt girl (on closer inspection, probably about 24) said that she's a social worker, and she was like, two seconds from staging an intervention. She couldn't believe that they were arguing so publicly, that the girl was making a scene and that the guy was so apathetic. He didn't try to comfort her at all, and he didn't seem to be listening. "AND" she said, "he was wearing a spy museum shirt."

That settled it.

We talked more about how we should have intervened to save that girl, her heart and her dignity, but then she pointed out "Well, we've all been there, so maybe that's how we learned. I guess everyone has to have their turn."

Now, perhaps we haven't all sat on a bench in Metro Center and tried to slap our boyfriends, but what our new social worker friend said struck a chord. All of us have done stupid, emotional things when we're distraught or driven to distraction about a guy, or about work, or about life in general.

There's those of us who have become "that girl" and cried in public.

There's those of us who have IMed the guy of our dreams one too many times because we were afraid that he wouldn't IM us first.

There's that girl who told everyone that she was going out with my little brother, and she took our last name as her confirmation name. (okay, that's a little special)

There's those of us who have gone 10 minutes out of our way (and dragging our friends along) because we know that HE will be walking by a certain building on campus at a certain time.

Next time you see a girl having her own spin on the emotional rollercoaster, smile at her understandingly. Because we've all been there. Let her know that even though it seems like right then all things important to her are falling apart and she's trying to survive in a mile of quicksand and no one loves her (or ever will!), there are people there for her.


PS - thanks to that wonderful random woman who gave me candy on the metro a few months ago during the never to be mentioned again "camera incident"!


PPS - and yes, I did take candy from a stranger. and it was tasty.