growing in the goo

it's high time for one.

This may not come as a surprise to, well, anyone, but I whine quite a lot. Perhaps not in that high-pitched wheedling voice (unless my parents are around!), but I am quite a complainer. Nothing is safe from my criticism...overpriced clothing, cranky looking models, where people park their cars, the way AIM (a free service!) sometimes shut down, etc.

However, there are moments, random moments, when I'm just struck with gratitude for my life. Last night I was driving to my aunt's house to babysit. I left in a bit of a mood because my mom wouldn't let me drive her car, but I had to drive my dad's car instead (horror of horrors!). Let me just state right here that my dad has a pretty nice car. Most people would be thrilled to drive it. But in my selfishness, I left in a huff.

Of course, that huff was gone in two minutes, since I'm never too committed to being in a bad mood.

So, 45 minutes later, I'm close to my destination and I was hit with a bolt of thankfulness out of nowhere. My God, my parents are awesome. They do so much for me. They catch me when I fall - in fact, they catch me before I fall. They give me loans when I need it, knowing that it's going to be a long time (does never count as a long time? because sometimes it's that...) before I repay them. They are there in countless ways, and I know that however I screw up, they'll be there for me to help me get all the pieces together. I am so blessed.

Later that night, home from babysitting (where my aunt and uncle were very generous...I hereby make a vow to always spoil my relatives as much as possible), I sat around, talking to friends online.

Now, I'm not boasting - okay, YES I AM! - but I have the best friends. People who are kind to me, who deal with me when I'm not the easiest person to deal with. People who boost my ego, even when I always haven't been the best at thinking about them. People who listen to me, encourage me, laugh with me. People I know I can rely on.

What did I do to deserve all of this? I hope that in my moments of whining and feeling like I'm alllllll by myyyseeeeellllllllfffffff, I look back to this entry and give myself a slap upside the head. Because I really am never, ever, truly alone.

I've had a piece of paper on my wall since the summer after sophomore year of high school. I had this horrible first job (blah blah blah) at a sub shop. Looking back, the job itself wasn't particularly awful, I think the main problem was that I was relatively young and pretty sensitive. If someone said a mean or harsh thing, I'd dwell on it and give it more importance than it deserved. (glad those days are gone....hah!)

At any rate, this piece of paper, taped above my light switch (classy, I know), has never failed to cheer me up. The author is unknown - if anyone knows who wrote it, let me know, and I'll add it into this entry.

here it is!


Focus on the Lesson

I have a friend who every time
I had a problem, dilemma or minor crisis would say --
"Focus on the lesson.
Ask yourself what am I
being shown here."

Every person in this life
has something to teach me --
and as soon as I accept that,
I open myself to truly listening.

For every one that makes you cry,
there are three to make you smile.
And a smile will last a long, long time,
but a tear for just a little while.

Don't let someone who hates the world
cause you to hate it too.
Behind the clouds is a Golden sun,
and a sky that's full of Blue.

If someone said a thing that's cruel,
don't let it get to you.
Your achievements are greatly numbered,
and your faults are very few.

So if a certain person should act a certain way,
think of those who Love you,
and don't let it spoil your day!
Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.


Steal it! Print it out on pretty paper and put it somewhere that you will see it, especially someplace that you'll notice when you're in a horrible mood. It's worked for me countless times, and if you think it might work for you, that would be great.

Because it would be a shame to let someone who hates the world cause you to hate it too - even if that someone is you, just for a few minutes...