Tuesday, August 16, 2005


Since you're bored at work, you'll probably read this. Even though it's just as boring.

oh man. so you may be wondering what I do with myself all day, since I am clearly not working.

Well, I got up around 9. After that, things get a bit hazy.

I had some food, I've been online, I looked for some jobs (but didn't apply to any, just made a list of them). I talked to my friends (who are online at work), I wrote one e-mail, I faxed a job application (yes!), washed some dishes, and... and....

I created an advice column! The brainchild of E, I made an e-mail address, then made an advice blog, then posted the whole thing on craig's list. No bites yet.

Now, there is this little matter of me not having any professional training when it comes to giving advice, other than obsessively reading every advice column for probably the past 10 years. But we'll see how this little experiment goes. How arrogant of me to think that I can give worthwhile advice!

It's 4:19 right now. The only way for me to redeem the day is to apply to about five jobs tonight (okay, let's be truthful. probably more like 3). Then I won't feel like a waste of space when I wake up tomorrow morning. I suppose if I start around 5:30, and actually work hard, it should go well.

To be honest, I miss school. There was something in the meaningless task of doing homework that I found positively encouraging and self-esteem building. I liked to goof around, read short stories, study for quizzes. I hated writing papers, because I always left it to the last minute, and it became an exercise in self-loathing at 2 a.m. (e.g., HOW could I be so DUMB to not do this ahead of time?!?! I haaaaate meeeeeeeee.") But other than that, school was fun. I miss chatting with professors, and talking with E in the second to last row of physics. I miss eating nasty tasting chicken sandwiches - actually, I just had a flashback of a stale bun and brown chicken and I don't miss that - but I miss the camaraderie of sitting around the lunch table with my friends. I miss waking up in my narrow twin bed and thinking "hey, this is what I'm going to do today, this is what I have to get done, this is what I have to look forward to on the weekend."

now I wake up and I don't even know what I think. E and I were talking last night, and we confessed to being jealous of each other. (is this okay for me to be sharing?) She misses being home and just kinda lazing around, seeing her home friends and hanging out with her family. And here I am, wishing I could be in her position - having a job and an apartment. Even the bills that come with it (providing I can afford to pay them!).

So I suppose the grass is often greener on the other side. Of course, here I am thinking "she doesn't understand, she doesn't know how lucky she is!" I bet E is thinking the same thing about me.

Actually, we had a little talk, and I know she's thinking that. We were hoping that would make the other appreciate their condition...but uh...it didn't work. I'm still wanting a job, the money that comes with it, the satisfaction in knowing I did a job well done. And knowing that people are noticing me, and not just relegating my hard worked cover letter and resume to the "trash" file right after I send it, with my hopes raised and my fingers crossed.

You forgot to link to your advice column, how can we all be participants if we don't know where it's at?
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