Thursday, January 19, 2006


running on 4 hours of sleep

"you pretend it doesn't bother you, but you just want to explode." - metallica (cover)

I've been bad at pretending lately, it's like I've become too comfortable and I've forgotten how to mask my feelings. You are surrounded by people who tell you that you're the bomb, that what you have to say is important, and that little sensor that is in your head gradually shuts down from too little use.

But really, people don't really care to hear what you have to say, a lot of the time. Or, what you have to say isn't worth the pain it inflicts. To quote my horoscope from today ( Impulsive planets drive you. Following your whim can be nice, but even nicer is the effect you have when you remember to think before you speak. Keeping regrets at a minimum helps you better enjoy your own company.

Take from that what you will.

On a sidenote, I'm absurdly over-excited about wearing jeans and sneakers to work tomorrow. I think it's because getting dressed this week has been such a struggle (ooohhhh my lifee is sooo hard!). Tuesday I was worried about the rain, so I couldn't wear my boots. It didn't rain during my commute, those jerks. Yesterday (was that only yesterday?) I wore an almost pajama-like outfit, pulled together by a jean jacket. Yes, I relied on a jean jacket to pull an outfit together. How professional.

Today I woke up AN HOUR early because I wanted to get to work by 8:10. Well, I tried on several different outfits, each one missing an integral piece, either because it was a) dirty beyond redemption or b) not in my closet because I don't own it, I just wish I did. I tried on a black skirt with a cardigan (with boots and fishnets...hmm. POLL: fishnets - appropriate or inappropriate for the workplace?), also gray pants, then settled on an outfit that didn't look half bad, if you ask me.

Brown pants, teal camisole, ummm...I know I wore a shirt over that camisole, can't remember which one..., and muted gold shoes.

I am clearly. Clearly losing my mind. So tired. What the hell did I wear as a shirt today?

I just sunk to the depths of patheticness, and had to look in my closet for the answer. I wore a deep purple cardigan with three quarter length sleeves.

So uh, yeah, perhaps now it's obvious why I'm looking forward to the jeans, sneakers/no-thought combo. Oh, and I forgot to mention that since I was such a mess in the morning, I got to work only 10 minutes early.

sorry this stinks. it's totally the equivalent of having a girlfriend whine at the end of the day about completely un-important things. or having a friend just blab blab blab when all you want her to do is shut up so you can enjoy life in peace.

Epiphany! Perhaps this blog is my problem, the thing that has made my sensor shut down. Because I definitely said at the beginning that I have to start keeping my mouth shut, and then I wrote about the most insignificant thing ever.

maybe something ridiculous will happen to me tomorrow, and I'll blog my heart out about it.

This space is your slice of life, your dungeon where you can throw your demons, your haven where you can hide your hopes.
Whatever you want to write is cool.
But remember that you don't always have to have something important to say, ehjoy your space and do with it what you will.
Here here!
MEG! your blog is for you and only you- if others [such as myself]enjoy reading what you write thats their problem ;) you just do what you gotta do and do what you wanna do- no censorship necessary!
oh and yeah-like trueborn said :)
Your blog is what you want it to be. Everyone's entitled to rant, rave, whine, or whatever on their blog. Don't feel bad, feel relieved.
well, yeah...but I feel as though if the writing is good, the content is redeemed. but if the writing is bad, it's just crap!

but uh...enough about me. :-)
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