Saturday, March 04, 2006


ALL over the place. Sorry.

*thanks to C-note for letting me use her computer*

Monday night, when E, C-note and I were at a neighbor's apt for dinner (not THE neighbors, but a different one. we get around) I made the statement that we were not very well-rounded girls. I instantly regretted my statement...not the meaning, per se, but the wording that I had chosen.

They argued that, If anything, we are well-rounded. Among the three of us, we've worked in food service, retail, with computers, at a scan place, as a member of a moving crew, in event planning...etc. And now one is in radio, the other TV, and I in publishing. I made the argument that I don't sew, or cook, or have much talent in practical matters. I've never even changed a tire! They said that sure, I can't sew, but if I had to, I could stitch some things together.

And here, I'm going to be talking solely about me. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, especially on blogs.

Personally, I feel like such a wasteland sometimes. Let me tell you what I did Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday of last week. I went to the bar. Sure, three different bars (so one could point out that there is variety there), but they were bars nonetheless. I did not have any alcohol on Thursday and Friday, had one beer on Wednesday and Saturday, and imbibed a bit freely on Sunday. So it's not like I'm an alcoholic...I don't go to bars for the beer.

And come to think of it, I don't even know why I go sometimes. Well, I know why - for the good times with my friends, but I generally hate the atmosphere. Wednesday was nice, because I was catching up with friends that I hadn't seen for a week, due to going to Md, Nh, and Mass, and the place was nicely pretty quiet and empty. Thursday, I left early, before my friends. Friday night was super fun, because E and I played "don't let anyone dance with us."

We'd be dancing, sketchy guys would come up to us, we'd do a twirl and move away. It was absolutely fantastic. Just because we're on the floor, it doesn't give some sketchy/obnoxious person the right to grind against us. In fact, I HATE that about dancing. Generally I sway a bit, then peace out. I like dancing with my friends. I don't want to dance with strangers.

Saturday - we went to a birthday party at one bar, and that was fun to talk and see people we hadn't seen for a while, but the place after was alright. I could have done without that part. Sunday we went after kickball....and that...was super fun. I have no shame in saying that I played flip cup for the first time, and I (almost) held my own.

At any rate. My point, even though it may be hard to see that I have a point, is that I don't even like going to bars that much. It's loud, smoky, generally crowded. Mix in drunk people, and my natural inclination to run and hide in a crowd; it's a blast. This is not to say that I don't have fun, but I feel as though it's a 50/50 experience.

Combined with the fact that I don't feel as though I'm growing that much - contrary to the title of this blog - life right now is a total blah experience. I think I've reached the point where I'm ready to do other things. Afterall, if I think that I'm not well-rounded, it's no one's fault but my own.

So how does one become well-rounded? To quote (heavily) from an email from a friend:

I think being well-rounded has more to do with progress towards a goal than about only going to the bar a certain number of times per week or about not caring much about boys. In other words, what progress are you making towards being a more well-read, better-educated person? What progress are you making towards being less interested in finding the perfect boy in the next week? What progress are you making towards having both pleasure and happiness in your life?

So it's not the going to the bar in itself that makes me unwell-rounded, it's that I'm not using my spare time to pursue goals, expand my mind, etc. Obviously you can't expand your mind 24/7, but it's important to have a balance.

I passed the "finding the perfect boy" point a couple of weeks ago, after a friend disappointed me, and helped me to see that sometimes guys can put on an act, but they're not the considerate people that you thought they were. Combined with the one-two punch of some stupid boy that I had had a 25 minute conversation before he offered to let me come home with him "if i was too tired" to make it back to my place, I was just like "UGH!" (And let me note here that if he were a true gentleman, he would have offered to pay for a cab, if he were so concerned about my tiredness.) Also, a lot of my friends have been boy-stressed lately, and I just feel so much happier not worrying about what a guy is thinking.

And as I told my co-workers, and some random new guy who happened to walk in the lunchroom at the "right" moment, I'm not throwing out a net anymore or looking for a boyfriend. I realized that with guys, you make the effort, and there is no guaranteed return. That's not cynical, it's life. Sometimes you click, sometimes you don't. I'd rather spend the majority of my efforts on things from which I know I'll get a return, like work, reading good books, and writing.

(But with that said, I'm just as susceptible to daydreaming as everyone else when I meet what I think is "the perfect guy." only to uh...realize that I've been daydreaming and left the reality plane far behind. So a lot of this is talk. But no more MC on Craig's List, at least.)

Okay, so the questions of well-roundedness. In my first entry, back in June, I posted a list of things that I wanted to achieve. Let's go back to those.

- take scuba diving lessons
- take ballroom dancing lessons
- get re-certified in CPR and first aid
- write one short story a month
- brush up on my french

Let's talk here. I have not done ONE of these things. Not one! And the pathetic thing is that I still want to do them, it's not as though my interests have changed. To be realistic, I will not be able to afford scuba diving lessons for quite some time, but I can at least start saving for it. And to be fair, I did take a couple of line dancing lessons, so that goes along with the "learn dances other than shaking my ass" goal.

No excuse for not getting re-certified in CPR and first aid. And absolutely zero excuse for not writing one short story a month. Or even if I had written one or two stories, I'd let it slide. But I haven't. And french...well...I'm horrible at it. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't start it up again. I'm not so good that the occasional foreign film is enough to remind me of my verb tenses and vocabulary.

Tuesday, the day after my "not well-rounded" declaration, I bought an official "short story" notebook, and some cute pens. They're still in the bag on my floor, but I made the important first step. In my creative writing class last year, my teacher would have us do these exercises: a classmate would describe part of a scene, and we'd write for about 3 minutes, describing the circumstances behind the scene. For example, the student would say something like:

"There is a man, underneath a street light, on a deserted street. He is standing, with one hand up, and he is looking at his watch."

Some people would say he was waiting for a bus, others would call him a terrorist, someone else might make up a second person, and describe that person as they walk by the man. I found these extremely helpful for firing up those creative juices. If anyone wants to send sentences like that to me...I would really appreciate it.

Okay. E and I volunteered this morning. We're playing kickball tomorrow. (speaking of kickball, the Kb powers-that-be told me that four people went from my blog to the playnaked website. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!) I'm not a total one dimensional person. But I promise to do some self-improvement.

And I don't think that's too much to ask of myself.

I'll help you with the stories and the french if you want :)
and YEY you're back :)
I changed my mind a lot of times about what I want to say about this post. So I will just say that I don't agree that you need to complete those goals but if you're happy with what you are doing, then that is that matters.

It didn't read long, btw.
"sometimes guys can put on an act, but they're not the considerate people that you thought they were."
I think that is a little harsh! Sure, some guys in bars are sketch and disgusting ("Do you mind if I knock against you with my denim cock, just for about an hour or so?" -Dane :-D) but not all of them are, and not all guys outside of the bar scene are either. Its definately good that youre not dying to find that "perfect guy" anymore and doing other things, but dont write them all off as pigs either! and your quote "with guys, you make the effort, and there is no guaranteed return" its the same with girls too :)
I'm not a man-hater!!

When I said "guys" I didn't mean men as a
whole, but rather, "some guys." I can definitely see where my language could have led to confusion.

And if there's anyone who freely admits that there are girls that are bitches, it's me! I think both genders have their equal share of winners and losers. Perhaps I should have said "when on the search for a significant other, there's no guaranteed return."

thanks for showing that I needed to clarify :-)
so while we're talking about guys and important is that confidence thing?
the confidence "thing"? how do you mean? Like...the importance of confidence in scoring a date? (not with me, but with anyone, haha)

If so, that could be a fun entry...
yes, that's what i meant
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