Saturday, March 25, 2006

 

inspired by rem's question

I have this picture of a group of people from my sophomore year of college. I'm not in the picture...while "doing homework" one night I found it on my college website and promptly saved it, because my crush at the time was in the group. So basically, I was a 19-year-old stalker.

So the people are all smiling in the posed shot, they're having a wonderful time. And the guy, he's giving the camera this look that I had never seen before on his face. It was so "I'm the man." It absolutely blew me away. Still does. In fact, if I were on my computer right now, I'd look at it. He just looks so confident, so secure in his skin. He wasn't trying to seduce the camera - I doubt he could replicate that look if he tried - but he totally is.

Confidence is key. Not just for dating, but for life. I look back on my mental gallery of crushes, and all of those guys are smart, dedicated, and have their stuff together. They don't fit in one box - some have smiles that light up the room, others have an intelligence that they keep under wraps, but then display with insightful comments, observations or questions. Others have a fun way on the dance floor, or a quirky sense of humor.

When they captured my heart or attention, none of these guys were intending to, or looking to see my reaction. They probably didn't even notice me, they were so absorbed in what they were doing. They weren't "out to get a girl." They were living their lives.

E and I were out dancing about a month ago, and we decided that we wouldn't dance with anyone. It became an unofficial contest, some guy would come up and try to dance with us, and we'd ignore him. (don't get too impressed, we were the only ones on the dance floor...the place was empty.) This random guy came up, busting out all these ridiculous moves, trying to impress. He had confidence, but not the right kind. It was showy, loud, all wrong.

Nothing is hotter than when a guy is doing something well, and concentrating. And when I say "something," I mean anything. I know someone (cough*me*cough) who loves it when a guy uses shortcuts on a computer. It doesn't have to be a complicated combination, but really simple, like the ones for "cut" and "paste." Yeah, pretty easily impressed, I know. And I don't know why I like it. Maybe it's just the way the person is efficiently doing work, and it shows they're thinking about what they're doing.

So work hard to be a person that you're proud of being. Become happy with yourself. Do things that you enjoy doing, wear only things that make you feel good. Face your insecurities, work on conquering your demons. Some humility is good, but be sure to have faith that you're a valuable addition to your environment. No one wants to fall in love with a person who doesn't recognize their own radiance.

We all have down days, the ones where we wonder how we could have friends, when we think we're super-ugly and feel that we have nothing to offer society, especially when compared to the model/Nobel Peace Prize winner Carl/Carlene in the next cubicle.

But then the next day, be sure to work it. Not with the hottie down the hall, but with yourself. Wear clothes that you think you look irresistible in, smile at strangers, walk with a strut in your step and a secret in your heart. Incorporate little good deeds into your daily life, like holding the door open for someone, and giving some money to the homeless people you see on your way to work. Lifting up others will serve to lift you up.

(and yes, I know that's a selfish reason to do good deeds, but it gets the job done nevertheless.)

Fake it 'til you make it. Because with enough attention and respect for yourself and your contributions to this world, you will get there.

Comments:
Meg,
1000% with you on this one. Except for the shortcuts on a PC- for some reason I have developped a deep aversion to them and annoyance when someone tries to show them to me because I refuse to use them! Ha...but a guy with confidence (and you're totally right there is the good kind and the not so good kind), intelligence and a bit of wit can make any man, no matter what he looks like, the man of my dreams.(well dreams of the moment that is!!)
 
Hey meg, I can make you be impressive too! Here's a quick primer.

Ctrl + c = copy
Ctrl + v = paste
Ctrl + x = cut
Ctrl + a = select all
Ctrl + d = Add bookmark
Ctrl + s = save
F5 = refresh
Backspace = go back
Windows button + L = Switch user
Alt + 0233 = é
Ctrl + t = new tab
Alt + Right arrow = forward
Ctrl + f = search (or f3)

Now you can be cool too and impress all your friends!
 
Quiet confidence is so sexy. Misplaced, brash confidence, though... is there anything more unintentionally hilarious?

:D
 
I'm honored!
 
That's a really good post. And good advice, Thanks.
 
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