growing in the goo

Here's a mystery....

how did I go through 22+ years of being Catholic and not know that the Easter Vigil is three hours long?

I felt like such a bad Catholic sitting there and thinking "Oh. My GOD!" but then I pinpointed my distress not on the length, but on not knowing how long it would be.

The mass began outside at the "Great Easter Fire" (cue in a mini-grill, the type often used for tailgating), with all of us processing to the front doors of the church. I walked next to an elderly woman who didn't come up past the top of my ribcage. At the front doors we were handed candles, which we lit. We walked into the church, it was dark....the priest talked, told us to blow out our candles. We did. We sat. Neighbor A was with me on this adventure, by the way.

And then this disembodied voice filled the church, saying "A READING....FROM THE BOOK OF GENESIS." And I know the guy was trying to sound God-like. And that kind of bothered me, because I don't like mystery and bells and whistles.

And we sat there, in the pitch black, listening to over an hour of readings. While interesting, I didn't know when they would end. The woman in front of me didn't either, since I heard her hissing "WELL It wouldn't be so BAD if they weren't singing after every damn one."

And I'm the type of person, when I go on a trip to a never-seen-before destination, I ask how long they think the trip will be. I don't care how long it is, I just like to know so that I can mentally prepare myself. Same as when I'm waiting for someone, and they say they'll be there soon. I want to know when, so I won't be impatient. So I rationalized my impatience with the thought that if I just knew how many readings there would be, I could sit back and enjoy and be a better Catholic.

The lights finally came on, and we all looked at each other, squinting and rubbing our eyes. I opened the book, and saw
that there had been seven readings, and seven song responses. Now, if I could have only seen that at the beginning...

The cab is coming tomorrow at 5. I was going to wear a jean skirt, but since it's Easter and all, I'm going to wear my Easter cute-fit. I'm playing a dangerous game called "just how see-through is this skirt"...I did different poses in front of my mirror, and it seems okay - the girls aren't here to check out my ass, though, so I can't be sure.

Let's hope that if it's bad, and I just don't have a clue, someone will stop me before I'm a Glamour Don't.

Cruise, here I come!!