Thursday, May 25, 2006


JC! Your Participation is Crucial. :-)

JC commented on my last entry:
At the risk of opening a whole other round of comments (or perhaps another post)...isn't the appeal of leaving before things get tough part of human nature?

If I want something right now (be it beer, raw meat, or scantily clad women) I shall continue to search until I find it, rather that spend my time trying to conjure it out of nothing.

Humans, just like all other animals, are really just here to mate and pass on their genetic material. The concept of "love" is a nice thought...but in reality, it's just an attempt to justify monogamy.

There, I said it...let the hate-mail begin.

I don't know, I think leaving things before it gets tough is smart in the most instinctive way - why would you want to suffer? But tough experiences do bond people together, to the point that people often create those experiences (eg, hazing) to forge something and, in theory, make them tighter.

Personally, I think most types of hazing are stupid and almost amount to brainwashing. But I do agree with the premise that working hard and sharing experiences creates a tighter bond, which is why I advocate groups doing community service projects together.

Obviously I haven't been in some long 30 year relationship that I can point to as absolute proof that love exists...and maybe I'm picturing some sort of ridiculous Nicholas Sparks novel...but I definitely think that love exists, especially the kind that is tested and is all the better for it. And I know that you never know what goes on in peoples' lives, but I picture my parents, and my grandparents. And my boss, and her husband. These people literally are "the other half" for each other.

I don't want some light marriage, there for sunshine and money, and pretty dresses and hot bodies. I want a man that I know I can count on. And he can count on me. And sure, maybe there's some pain in there, and tough times, but that's the price I'm willing to pay. I think the rewards are greater than the cost.

And the definition of love changes. Sometimes it will be someone in the most basic, common terms of love - passion. But other times it will be a friend, a guiding hand, someone who wants the best for me. I can't trust someone if I don't think they want the best for me.

JC, your thoughts on love kind of worry me, especially since I have met your girlfriend. Does she share the same ideas? Or do you say this stuff and not mean it? How do you reconcile feeling this way and being in a long term relationship?

I can't give all my secrets away at once, now can I Meggers? Marriage is certainly for some people, just as it is certainly not for others. It's those who are trapped in between that I feel bad for.

Being in a long term relationship is no different than a short term one, until people begin to set up boundaries and expectations. So far, I've managed to steer clear of these in my current relationship.

I hope that answer was just ambiguous enough to remain mysteriously provoking.
Actually, I was thinking of something akin to this on the train ride home: I was wondering if emotions (which, presumably not expressed by other species with such complexity) are an actual result of our cognisance of our desires, or are they a more simple pavlovian response to stimuli? I could see arguments for both sides, of course, the latter being the more depressing of a reality. (But alas! If that is a depressing thought, it is merely as such because of a response to stimuli! Oh, how the vicious cycle continues!)

P.S. Yes, public transportation is where I always contemplate various profound philosophical questions! Exclamation mark!
It's all just a bunch of chemical reactions designed at helping us find a suitable mate. Cave man sees woman. Cave man clubs woman. Cave man drags woman home. (Cave man is subsequently busted for sexual assault). But our brains do a pretty good job of fooling us into thinking its something more. Ignorance can be bliss.

And Chris, public transportation is a better location than where I ponder life's big questions...
Sorry I haven't been around- I really missed reading your blog, and it's like a breath of fresh air to read it again- I believe in love 100% be it mother to child, sister to sister; man to woman or man to man whatever, love is real and although it is a chemical reaction- no doubt about that, so is everything we feel- it' s just not a way to live- if it is, then only eat the basic food to survive, wear the simplest clothes to keep warm and basic shelter for protection. Truth is we need one another- our need for each other is deep rooted and is key in our survival as a species- sadly it is also the root of our destruction and without love,I think we would all just eat each other alive...I know it' s s short way to answer and not exactly as well said as you guys..but I'm sure you catch my drift-or so I hope!!
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