Saturday, June 24, 2006



I just read "he's just not that into you" and....

I loved it.

I should have read it years ago. It was so helpful. So frank. So obvious. C-note was preaching the wonders of it back in good ole' 2005, and I wasn't listening to her. I thought that it was anti-woman, that it was sexist, that I was the exception to the rule. I was in denial. I was hurting.

C-note. Read this loud and clear:


So much of what guys say are based on playing off our insecurities, knowing that we squeeze every little last mile out of hope. They'd rather get dragged over tacks than outright reject us (God, what if we Crrryy?!), when really, it's the most freeing thing in the world.

If a guy likes you, he'll let you know. If he likes you, nothing will get in the way. No excuses. Go big, or go home.

My goodness. I hope I stay this pragmatic and clear-headed. Well, we all know I won't, but it's good to think that I will.

From now on, no more crap. As the vendor at Eastern Market said to me, way back in March, "Don't settle for anything LESS than a guy climbing PIKE'S PEAK for you."

If a guy likes you, he'll let you know. If he likes you, nothing will get in the way. No excuses. Go big, or go home.

That's not really true. At least not with teenagers.
Rem: True, but I'm not in the market for teen dating, anymore. Thank goodness!
At the risk of sounding, uh, picky, I'm pretty sure that's not how one spells alleluia :-)
haha yeaaahh...I was like "Church every week for my whole life, and how do I spell that word?!" I did a combo of the "a" and "h" spellings. oops.
"Don't settle for anything LESS than a guy climbing PIKE'S PEAK for you."

Is that like Columbus finding Caribbean resort islands for Queen Isabella?

Wombat: perhaps?

Seeing as how you're a male well educated in the matters of love and society, I want your opinion on all this. Is it BS? Am I taking the easy way out by washing my hands of all responsibility, cheerily skipping off, saying "If he likes me, he'll let me know!"?
Yes, if he likes you, he will let you know, but it's best to understand that every guy is different.

Let's put it this way; one man's climbing Pike's Peak in your name is another's invitation to go bowling. There is no one size fits all.

Of course the guy must make some effort at chasing you. Your job is to determine whether:

a) his efforts are those which suit your ends.

b) his efforts are sufficiently high with respect to his own scale.

c) you want to change him.

Be mindful that the big-gesture-guy (I'm setting out to find a new continent, My Queen) can't keep doing that for long.

Just throwing this out there too...but we aren't 13 anymore, or even in college. If a guy doesn't tell you he likes you, but you think he does...then he's probably a pansy who lives in his mom's basement.

Assertiveness is key, not only in our take-first-and-ask-questions-later society (see George W. Bush), but in relationships. If someone isn't showing you any of this characteristic at the onset...what's gonna happen 10 years down the road when it's their turn to clean the bathroom or clean the shitty diaper up?
Wombat: yeah, for all my talk, I'm all about the little gestures. In fact, it's rather embarrassing how little attention and affection it takes to make me happy. I just want some effort. Nothing too extraordinary. But the thought that a guy would do something extraordinary? For me? Is so mind-blowing, and quite frankly, unbelievable.

JC: You're my new male role model. Just so you know. E and I decided last night after church.
Wombat makes a very good point with the Mount Everest/bowling point.

Besides I was ready to offer someone my Everest, a trip to the local amusement park, but she turned me down before I could get that far. I am glad she did, as it probably was too much.
rem: Then she wasn't worthy of your attention. Much as girls deserve the effort...guys do too!

And I think an amusement trip sounds lovely.
I don't blame. I pretty much chased here down as she was walking towards Pangborn, you know the sidewalk I'm talking about? heading for the metro but not quite there yet, and then botched the delivery. So it went over pretty badly.

But anyways, here's the current predicament. When I went to the diamondback newspaper's office I had my tennis racket with me. One of the editors say my racket and said something like "hey, tennis is cool. I play tennis." Later that, night I facebooked her, just innocently looking for a tennis buddy, and saw that we have a TON in common and that's she's pretty good looking.

This will all probably be moot, since she probably won't play with me in time, but I was figuring that we could play tennis and afterwards I would ask if she wants to go see the fireworks with me. Keep in mind I wouldn't really know her, but it would seem kind of werid to go in undercover or something in an effort to already be a friend when asking her.

Girls don't volunteer information about their personal lives unless they want you to know you share a common interest. I'd say pull the trigger.

Oh...and don't forget to wear protection.
I'm late to this, but...

Am I taking the easy way out by washing my hands of all responsibility, cheerily skipping off, saying "If he likes me, he'll let me know!"?

Rem: go for it. At the least, it would be cool to have a tennis buddy! And if she rejects you, let me know, and come see the fireworks with me and my friends!

JC: how fatherly. Are you talking about eye masks and tennis knee guards? Always practice safe tennis. :-)

i-66: So, since I never learn from my mistakes, I responded to a personal ad on craig's list. He was wearing a banana costume in his picture.

He hasn't responded to my email.


Consider me taking that as a sign, giving up, and skipping merrily on my way (to spinsterhood).
You put yourself on Craig's list? OMG!!!!!1

Patience, Patience.
FWIW, and I've been meaning to mention this my blog, I put myself on Hot or Not and scored a 8. However 3 was the most chosen option and 8 was tied for second fewest selection. So their scoring system seems awfully odd. Although it's based in percentiles so maybe everyone gets low scores and it's adjusted.

But anyways, meg. At least you didn't make the guy make the first move.
Rem: haha, no, I didn't put myself on craig's list...I responded to someone else's posting. (so, almost as bad)

and UPDATE: banana man responded!!

and you hottie, you!!!
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