Thursday, June 22, 2006


final destination

So after our softball game last night, seven or so of us went out. CP and I split mini burger and chicken fingers...

We got the mini burgers, and began to eat. They were a weird size, and I commented how big the bun was. That was prescient of me, because my second bite became lodged in my throat in an alarming manner. It was so weird, it felt so blocked, it as if I could see a diagram of a blocked throat. All food, jammed in. I made a weird little noise, and CP looked at me, worried, and asked if I was okay. I made another weird noise, and the guy next to me said my name. I stood up, and after some esophagus gymnastics, I got it down.

I sat down, and I was shaken. I don't know why. I think mentally, I was fine, but physically, my body was like "OH MY GOD I ALMOST PERISHED!" Or perhaps physically I was fine, but mentally, subconsciously, I was really really freaked out. But for whatever reason, I couldn't stop trembling. And the mood of the night really changed for me after that. CP could tell, and others could too.

Walking to the metro this morning, I realized the scariest point of all. When I got up, it wasn't to call attention to myself, or to drop onto the back of the chair and do a dramatic, cinematic self-Heimlich - it was to run to the bathroom, in my vanity, and gag my heart out where no one could hear, or see. That was a very dangerous reflex, and I suppose at the heart of it lies two factors.
1) I didn't want people to see me making disgusting noises.
and, therefore,
2) I believed that I could save myself if it came down to it.

I don't know. It was scary.

E and I met up a bit after that, and went to the T spot. Played a couple of rounds of pool, etc etc, then we drove back to the apartment. I was driving, because E has a fractured/sprained right ankle, the product of a jogging mishap on Sunday. So I'm driving along, la la la, and this red pickup truck (before, just ugly, but now, SINISTER!), starts to drive into our lane, and us! My reflexes hopped in, and I braked and blared the horn, twice.

The honk, unfortunately, made the guy on our right drift into our lane because of fright, but he quickly corrected himself. And I'm pretty sure the guy in the pickup truck crapped his pants, and rightfully so. After that bit of driving ridiculousness, he stayed securely in his lane.

So now I'm a bit paranoid. Well, not really. But I have my necklace looped three times around my neck, and two of the loops were really tight this morning...and I confess. Devon Sawa's beautiful face floated to mind.

I'm sorry that I do not know the Heimlich maneuver, but I was really to call Scottie over to do it! You were definitely shaken up, and I'm glad you were okay. Actually, at lunch today, someone coughed, and three of us (who were all there last night) chimed in, "Do you need the heimlich?" I'm thinking about taking a First Aid class now, thanks to you.

Devon Sawa? Was he in Seaquest? Or was that Johnathan Brandis?
it's okay! I technically didn't need the Heimlich, because there was still a teeny bit of air flow...but that would have sucked.

Funny that it's kind of a joke now :-) I wish I could have witnessed it!

Jonathan Brandis was in Seaquest, and he committed the past year, I think. I was honestly kinda bummed - one of those things where you're like "I wish he had called me. I would have told him how amazing he is."

Devon Sawa was in Final Destination, looks like JB...Mr. Sawa was also in "Now and Then," "Casper," and some other forgettable flicks. (I looked at his fan site this morning.)
Perhaps you are embellishing a bit? My near-death self would probably not think to use the word "perish." :) It'd be more cusses and then "DEATH!!! AUUUGHHHH!" and some other angsty sounds.
Mel: I would TOTALLY use "perish" - anything else would just be embarrassing. Well, maybe "I'm asphyxiating!!" would have been acceptable.


Go Wash Your Mouth!!!

PS - the dictionary isn't very helpful when you don't have the faintest idea as to how something is spelled...
Are you nuts? Jonathan Brandis' suicide probably came about 10 years too late...if I had to see his ugly mug on a Trapper Keeper one more time in grade school, I probably would have offed myself!
you're so delightful!

If only I could have had JC's mug on my trapper keeper...
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