Saturday, June 24, 2006


guy talk

So I took myself out on a date this afternoon, as in, I went to the movies by myself. I spoiled me (what's new?) getting popcorn, pepsi, and milk duds. It was a perfect time. I had gone to the theater feeling anxious, worried, nervous, irritated, sad...I was a real treat. But then the wonder that is "The Lake House" healed my angst, and I left a better woman, equipped to handle life as it's thrown to me in all its glory.

E met up with me post-flick, and we went for a multi-cultural experience, shunning Noodles & Co, and opting for Lebanese food instead. We're so cool. And now I'm lying here on my bed with about 15 pounds of delicious bread and garlic in my stomach. And that makes me extremely happy.

The point of all that was to set the scene, okay?

A guy called E around 5:30 to "see if she still wanted to meet up." Since we were in the process of stuffing our faces, she missed the call and we had the opportunity to analyze his voice mail ad nauseum. I thought his proposal sounded...okay, and E was less than enthused, especially since he asked her if she wanted to get drinks. We're on the same page with the drinks situation. That's not a date, okay? At any rate, so she called him back, and he said he didn't know what they should do, and long story short, they might meet up later at our usual bar.

So after hanging up, E said that she was annoyed, because he's the guy, she's the girl, and he should have a plan and be wooing her with it, dammit. After asking her which god's ass she was shat out of, I agreed with her, citing an example from the movie I just saw.

For those unfamiliar with the ridiculous premise, Sandra Bullock is in the year 2006, and Keanu Reeves is in 2004. Through the miracle of the movies, they exchange letters via a mailbox on a piece of property on which they both had lived - aka the Lake House.

(and yes, I know they're acting parts, and it's not really "Sandra" and "Keanu" doing these things, but I don't feel like using their characters' names.)

Even though they're two years apart, they manage to forge a connection. Keanu makes a map so that Sandra can see all his favorite spots in the city, and she finds some graffiti that he had sprayed on a wall for her (so, his current time, aged two years by the time she sees it). In one letter, SB (who lives in the city) mentions that she misses the trees by the lake. Keanu, upon reading that letter, goes to the place of her future apartment building, and plants a tree. Her apartment building isn't built yet, but he knows that in two years (as in, during her life that is currently going on), it will be a full grown tree.

She's outside, picking up keys that she had dropped, and a two year old tree magically appears next to her. It's raining, of course, and the tree's branches block the tempest.

As E put it, SB didn't say "Gee, I miss those trees. Here's some seeds, a shovel, and some water. Get on it." He surprised her. He made effort. He did something for the pure joy of making her happy.

So, I don't know. Is it ridiculous to hope for/expect some wooing? I tend to be rather easy on people when it comes to my expectations of them spoiling me. I can't blame this on my parents, because they've always put me first. But I find that, over and over, I make excuses for guys, saying stuff like "well, they're not mind readers," "we can't expect people to act like in the movies," "he's busy...," etc etc.

At the moment (and I really do mean at the moment), I think that if a guy really likes a girl, he'll pull out all the stops. Flowers, phone calls, plans amazing dates. Therefore, if a guy can't even be bothered to call before 5:30 on a Saturday, or to email sometime during the day, then he's not that into you, therefore not worth any worry or effort. Because it's just not gonna happen. And he's not going to be "the one."

Because if you chase after this guy, or put up with his lack of attention, you're settling. And that's a huge mistake.


I nearly told a long story here, but I couldn't quite make it right. I have little experience with this but I know that it's dishearting when a specially laid plan is declined and also that such special plan can be intimidating and bring words like "stalker" to mind.
Rem: I'd love to hear your long story!
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