growing in the goo

A couple of weeks ago I said that I needed to do some thinking/soul-searching, etc etc.

And, unexpectedly, I've actually had a breakthrough.

For a couple of years I've been contemplating going back to school to become a teacher. I figured that I'd aim for middle school, since I think that's a great age (mentally) for kids, and because my middle school teachers were practically the only bright spot in an otherwise semi-miserable middle school existence. May as well give back.

During my remarkably unremarkable commute to work, I often chew on an apple and contemplate life. I personally find contemplating to be very hard, and find that it's much easier to think about a book that I'm reading than the direction of my own life.

But one day I stumbled upon my teacher plan, and set about to thinking as to why this plan has come about. I thought it was for my "love of teaching." But really...not really.

The teacher plan comes out of two worries.
1) That I won't be able to cut it as an editor and writer
2) That being a teacher is the only way to be "home with the kids"

Okay, at least Number 1 has a rational basis. Everyone is afraid that they won't be good enough. But it's also ridiculous. Why wouldn't I be able to cut it? In the grand career scheme, I don't have much experience at all. There's plenty of time to learn, and I'm increasing my knowledge by bits and pieces day by day. As long as I work my butt off, it will all be good. My formidable foes are laziness and insecurity, not stupidity.

Number Two is just idiotic. First of all, I don't have kids. This is planning to the extreme, and is a bit insane. Disregarding the whole "single and not a kid in sight" factor, there's also the fact that editing and writing may be, in fact, the easiest jobs to do from home. All I'd need is a computer, Internet connection, printer, paper, and a pen.

Don't get me wrong. I love teaching. But I love editing more.

So there.