Tuesday, August 22, 2006


In which I talk about me (again)

(BTW, how can I trust a spellcheck on a blog that doesn't know the word "blogging"?)

Usually when I'm at a blogging standstill, it's because there's something that's blocking everything else...and I can't write about anything else until I get that certain something off my chest.

Well, I'm not really sure if there's any of that on my mind right now. Unfortunately, because blogging my heart out is generally a cathartic process.

Well, actually, I have been thinking that blogging is sort of my way to figure me out. Accept who I am. Know that even if I'd like to be something else, sometimes, you just can't sand against the grain.

For example, I'd love to be this super cool world traveler. Spend a year here, a year there, meet cool people in India, live next to the pyramids in Egypt, boat on the Amazon for six months or so. It would be great to do these things, but the truth is, I'm such a homebody. As anyone who has heard me sigh wistfully knows, I miss the fam. I love my brothers, parents, cousins, etc. And living away from them for an extended length of time is a recipe for heartache.

That totally makes me feel like a loser.

Or, it did, until this weekend. I thought about it, and realized that that's the way I am, and there's no reason to be apologetic or ashamed about it. Hoping to be another way would be to sand against the grain of my being. May as well accept it, throw in the towel, and gleefully make the flight plans for the big Halloween party (we're going as characters from Lost).

And, I just decided that I'm going to have to be a world famous writer, so I can jet off during the summers to do the traveling that's got my head in the clouds. There's no way in hell that I'll be able to hold down a real job and simultaneously satisfy the bug in me.

So. New ideal plan. Make my mom's dream come true, and "meet a nice boy in Massachusetts." (Some people want their kids to marry within their race, religion, etc. My mom wants me to marry someone within 20 miles of home.) He has some super amazing job that allows him to travel at his wife's whim. Every summer (or autumn, winter, spring, whatever), we'll jet off to some fantastic location, do a home swap, or something, and stay there for a couple of months.


(and no, I know I don't need a man to travel or be successful, or some ridiculous notion like that. I'm just into planning. Really. Far. In. Advance.)

So, I see that no one else has posted on this yet, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to put a little something out there.

I grew up in a town of 700, never moving until after I was 18, to go to college. I chose a college of 40,000 (vs. my K-12, students and staff population of 300) and got lost in the shuffle. I then decided to work in National Parks every summer in college (brief rundown: Grand Canyon North Rim, AZ; Denali, AK; Crater Lake, OR; Mammoth Cave, KY but I don't always admit to that one) and spent a semester abroad in Granada, Spain.

Sounds exciting huh? It was. Butttt... all I ever talk about is the exciting stuff. Did I mention I've moved SEVENTEEN times in the past five years? And that I hate moving? How about that I never wanted to stay in Wisconsin after graduating college, and yet... I'm still here?

Why? He's 20 months old and I adore him. My senior of college, my brother and sister-in-law FINALLY gave me that nephew I've been begging for.

So I took a full time job and even though I'm wistful as I prepare to tell my old roommate and other travel-junkie friend goodbye tonight (she's going to teach English in S. Korea for a year) and think about how my other good friend is living in New York and a close friend from high school will be living in Spain next year...(she got me to apply for the job as well, but there was more than a small part of me that was glad the positions were filled by the time I applied because I don't know if I would've gone) I can't stand the thought of being that far away for that long.

The thing is, you ADMIT it. That's all that makes you different. Most people don't admit what they miss when they are living somewhere else. So even though I love traveling and I want to do it again, someday, right now, I'm a homebody too, who looks wistfully at my photo albums (and submit them to LR) who is pretty attached to her family as well.

I say, good for you, and enjoy your time with them. :)

Btw, really enjoy your blog! Oh yeah, and um, it's SUPPOSED to be all about you. ;)

Congrats on your nephew :-)

You totally understand the traveling dilemma...thank you for giving me your two cents.

PS - those summer jobs sound great!
Thanks. I like gold stars. :)

And thanks for the congrats on my nephew: I adore him.

The link to the jobs is on my blog if you ever decide you're unhappy with your current situation. ;)
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