Thursday, December 21, 2006


love/hate relationship (with/MSN) has another article that made me want to throw my computer screen out the window.

It looked promising. There's a tease on the main page, with a pretty, free-spiritedish blonde girl inhaling the sweet, sweet air of some wintertime wonderland. The headline is: Single This Holiday Season? There's nothing better!

So I opened the article, expecting some sort of written words that compared to the joy of inhaling the sweet, sweet air of wintertime wonderland.

Instead, it was some whiny girl with a rock on her finger bitching about how she has to buy evvvveryone presents, and one year a boyfriend bought her a gift set from Bath & Body Works. But you can tell that she's loving her "problems," and just likes complaining, and that she'd be whining her head off if she were single (actually, she admits that). She even throws out the pathetic "You're so lucky you're single, you can meet girlfriends for cocktails!" And "You can stay at the mall until it closes!"

That's such a flaming cliche. I mean, I sure do love getting cocktails with my "girlfriends," but there are definitely other perks to being single than a) not buying tons of presents for a S.O.'s family, b) not getting crappy presents from boyfriend, and c) closing out Target.

It all just seemed a little...circular. Like, you're lucky you're single, because when you aren't single, you have all these relationship problems to worry about. Is it possible to examine the virtues of being single without comparing it to being part of a couple? Or are all benefits of being single directly related to not being in a couple? I'm going to venture to say that being single is a state of mind, and people aren't defined by their relationship status, even during the holiday season.

"Single," as a word, means nothing. It just has loaded connotations, along with the word "taken," that imply a certain amount of baggage. This is not to say that I'm saying that relationships don't exist, that I'm railing against love, etc. I'm all for organized relationships, and fidelity, and commitment. But, too often, the word "single" is said, followed by either an implication of "hates life and is alone and tragic," or "oh, totally loves her independence and doesn't want to be tied down." But those are nonsense, and are convenient boxes for putting people in.

Single is a state of mind. Not in a, "Hey baby, I'm on a business trip" sense, but in a "Inhaling the sweet snowy air, enjoying life, not being ungrateful about presents" sort of way. In a "grab life by the horns" way. Call me silly, or naive, but I think the mountain air can smell good with a S.O. next to you, or if you're by yourself, or if you're with friends. And (this may come as a surprise to the whiny MSN girl), it is possible, when in a couple, to go to that mountain by yourself, or with friends, even if you do have a boyfriend or husband. The air may smell different...and feel different...but each situation has its perks.

So, go ahead. Act single. Act taken. Those words don't mean anything. And honestly, it's taken me this long to realize this.

The single life and the taken life can be analogised to an electron.

Electrons jump between shells around a nucleus, giving them different energy states - or quanta - at a given time.

Neither state is intrinsically good or bad; they just are. Any other way of viewing it is just marketing spin.

Bullshit, in other words.

All of my points went out the window when I read Wombat's "Bullshit in other words." Why does he always manage to read your posts before I do and say the right thing? Arg.

I saw the article this morning and didn't read it because I knew that I was only going to be super annoyed if I did. Thanks for letting me know I made the right decision. :)
Mmm... sweet snowy air...
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ew. Even that woman's picture annoyed me. Snotty biotch. I like buying presents! It also helps I finally have a real job this year hahaha.
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!
Well stated, Megs. Although I must admit, the mountain air might not smell as good if I'm that significant other, and it happens to be taco tuesday.

Let's get together and grab some Zima's in the new year.
incidentally, this reminds me of a time that owen [at work] got on my case because i wore a simple silver band on my left "ring" finger.
he spent a lot of time telling me that "it wasn't right" because not only am i not married, but i'm completely single, and i shouldn't be so eager to unwittinglt mislead prospects.
i'm still not entirely sure what that means.

but yeah. you are not single. you are not taken. you are meg. and that's better than anything anyway.

hope you had a gret christmas; see you in '07.
wombat: hurray!

tc: don't you hate that? I'm glad you have the self-control that I lack...sometimes I'm just looking for something to hate on, you know? :-)

i-66: I love your icon!

anon: foiled! hah!

tans: I KNOW!!! me tooo!!!

tc: you too!

jc: definitely. esp before you go jetting off!

min: hear, hear. can't wait to see you!
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