Sunday, January 21, 2007


this is me. vulnerable.

Okay, so last night I was supposed to hang out with the guy mentioned in the previous post (we did end up going to the movies on Friday)...about an hour or so before we were supposed to get together, he called me, and said that he had a splitting headache, and asked if we could get together for lunch the next day (today).

At first, I said yes, I was free. But then something rose up in me, and, well, anyone could tell, because I said, "Yes, I'm free...Actually. I'm not. I have plans with E and C-note." The edge was in my voice. And he tossed out the idea of having dinner on Monday, and I said "Maybe." Or something, I don't remember. I was driving, and distracted, feeling really pissed off. But really, going deeper than the surface of pissed off, I was hurt and confused.

I don't understand. He acts interested, but not interested at the same time. We talk online, he asks about my day—makes me feel like he wants to know about me, what makes me me. He holds my hand at the movies. Hell, he pays for my movie. But he's also not called when he said he would, he mentions going out, then doesn't mention it until I bring it up. Maybe he did have a headache. Maybe he didn't.

But, getting caught at every red light between Mel's apartment and mine, I decided that I'd rather be alone than be hurt. So I deleted his phone number at the first red light. Deleted all of the text messages from him at the second. And deleted all the ones I had sent him at the third.

If anything happens from here on in, it will be all him.


"I don't do drama, my tears don't fall fast." - renee olstead


If he doesn't want to go out with you, that's his loss, not yours.

Let him chase you! Boys are strange creatures that really dont know what they want. Especially those around our age. But as long as we know that we are worthy of being persued, and WE ARE, that right person will come along. We know we are awesome, and we need to wait for the right guy to realize that. And just live life until that happens!

PS: I'm doing that whole let him call me thing too...its tough but worth it!

Boys suck.
I agree, he needs to chase you.

Also, I love how women now erase men's numbers and emails and text messages.

The sign that someone is gone from my life is when they no longer have an entry in my phone. In some way, deleting names is also therapeutic.
Meg, kick the guy to the curb... unless he suddenly changes his mind and finds it in his best interest to pursue you. Then, make him fall in love with you and kick him to the curb.
It pains me to say it... buttttt listen to Cam. Honestly. (As long as he doesn't tell you to go to Houston and hook up with him, and then, well, go if you wanna go. ;))
kevin: thanks :-)

jw: I'm all about living life! Thanks for telling me what I needed to know.

tc: thanks :-)

ed: it's definitely therapeutic. But, as Alanis Morrissette once said on a random VH1 show, "Anger is an extension of hurt." I used to be a lot better at remembering that.

cam: I'll do as you instructed per our gchat conversation.

tc: he told me that he'd make me feel better in Houston. Should I not believe him?!

You guys have been fabulous...I'm lucky to have such wonderful friends. I'd also like to thank Min for her awesome facebook messages. :-)
Well, I'm sure he'll "make you feel better," but that all depends on what kind of better you want. ;)
I can't believe I missed this :(
sorry dude- any news?
Either way good for you- don't settle- and you should be proud of yourself- you're a tough cookie!
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