Thursday, January 04, 2007


Welcome to my palm

Today after work Mel and I decided to buy some makeup at our favorite little store, then get our nails done at my favorite little nail place.

Since it was payday and I was apparently dying to treat myself, I bought a crapload of shiznit. Gabrielle had gone to town on my face, layering on lip gloss, bronzer, two different shades of eye shadow, concealer ("You can hide everything!" she sang out gaily, as she covered up my freckles), and two more shades of lip gloss.

Hustling to get to the nail place before it closed, Mel and I passed by a girl sitting on a plastic chair, with a huge Palm Reading sign set up beside her. We walked by, hurriedly, and I craned my head back to take a second look. I have a hard time resisting a good palm reading, and it had been too long.

Getting to the nail place, I was horrified to find a big CLOSED sign on the door, along with a little sign saying that it was closed due to construction. There was no re-open date listed.

Why? Why? Don't they realize that I'm obsessed with that place, and my nails are in horrendous shape? I can't go back to having random people do my nails, scraping away at my skin with nary a care in the world, least of all the concern of cutting me and making me bleed. And, I can't take the judgment another place will pass on me for letting things get this bad...

(Wow. Superrrffiiccciaaaaalllll time!)

Put-off by that unexpected bummer, Mel and I started back toward the Metro. We passed the palm reading girl, and I asked for her prices. It was $5 for a crappy reading, $10 for a less crappy reading, and $20 for a glorious two palm and face reading.

I pondered for a second whether or not my freshly slapped on concealer would alter my face reading, and asked for the $10 one-palm reading.

Palm girl instructed a protesting Mel to sit down in the plastic chair next to the huge sign (ohhh I wish I had had my camera with me!!) as she brought me to a darkened set of stairs 10 feet away. Playing the gypsy, she took my proffered $10 and stuffed it in her bra.

Asking for my right hand, she stared at it. Not knowing what else to look at, I stared at it. And, since palm readings aren't like birthday wishes, I share my results without hesitation.

The first thing she said was that I was going to have a long life. Yeesssssss. And she said that during my long life, when I'm older, I won't be alone, I'll always have people around me.

Hmm. Did I look needy to her? Someone who was afraid of being alone? I suppose I did look a little vulnerable and lost, not knowing where to go to get my nails done.

She said that I'm going to get married once (I said "awesome!" at that), and that I'll have three kids.

She said that lately I've been wearing a big smile for family and friends, but that my heart hasn't been light, and at nights I feel alone, and that's when everything comes crashing down and to a stop, and when I focus on my troubles. She said that I've been having stomach, shoulder, and back pains, and that worried her.

Her big dark eyes stared into mine, and my shoulder experienced a sharp pain. Witch! I didn't know what to say, so I said, "Umm....yeah....I guess my stomach has been hurting a bit more than usual..."

The smile thing was right, in that my default face is a smile. If I'm nervous, I smile. If I'm listening, I smile. If I'm complaining, I'm likely to smile. And, in face, I was slightly smiling while she was talking to me. And I have been weighing things on my mind, but I'm not a martyr. In fact, I overshare and complain and confess to anyone with ears.

Then she said that I wasn't happy with my career, and where it was going. I mean, I guess today wasn't a glorious day, but I'm certainly happy with my career and can't think of anywhere else I'd rather work. So I worked on giving her a blank look to see where she was going.

She said that she could see me in a teaching or nursing field, and I was like "Teaching sounds cool, but definitely not nursing." She said that she was surprised, and asked me if I was sure, because she saw me surrounded my children, but also writing, and learning.

Sensing a dead end, she finally segued to the juicy stuff: love life.

She said that I've been especially unlucky in the past three to five weeks, and I said yeah, even though I wasn't thinking that it's been particularly unlucky, or worse than the previous months (years?). (Oh yeah, I just remembered that earlier she had said that 2006 hadn't been that good of a year for me. I was thinking that it had certainly been A-OK, but I had given her a serious and encouraging nod.)

She said that she was worried about my love life, but couldn't read enough on my one palm, and wanted to read my other palm, and my face.

I briefly considered it. But I'm not overly concerned about that area of my life, not enough to pay extra to have my palm and face read, so I demurred, saying that I didn't have a lot of money to spend. Reading my face (for free! a-ha!), she shot to the heart of the matter, and said, "$5. For both face and palm."

Tempting, but then I remembered that I only had a $20 in my wallet, and that would look bad.

So I refused, and thanked her. Her little ghostly look never left her face, saying that she wished me the best in my life, especially in my love life. Um, thanks?

So, in review...

In the future, I'd skip her. She was too busy trying to get me to spend more money, and she freaked me out the way she was staring at me. Although, if I recall correctly, that's the M.O. of palm readers.

And, if anyone wants to get their palm read, there's a place on Connecticut Ave, north of Dupont, and that lady says the fun stuff...for example, when I saw her two years ago, she named the initial of the person I'm going to marry. Fun! None of that downer "You're crying yourself to sleep" business. The woman on Connecticut Ave predicts drama, affairs, passionate affairs, winning the lottery. It's solid entertainment.

And what is all of this for, if not for entertainment?

And what is all of this for, if not for entertainment? I was pretty excited to see this disclaimer, as I'd been a little concerned before that. ;)

I have never had my palm read. Mostly because while I think I don't believe, what happens if I did believe it when it happened? And then I changed my behavior based on what she said? That's dumb, so I stay away. Just in case.
You can have your palm read by any old woman in Beijing for free, haha. It's more interesting when they can only deal with your one word responses.
Hum...I wrote a comment but got booted out- strange!
Anyway...I think it would have been funny if during the time your palm was being read, someone had gone up to your friend Mel and asked her for a palm reading-I swear if I were her I would have done it- right there on the street :)
and there ain't nothing wring with a girl taking care of herself now is there!!!
Well, with the makeup all caked on me like that (Gabrielle had done me, too...except she totally did my face like her 16-year-old daughter's, because we had similar hair or something)...I was worried that someone would come up to me and ask for a bit more than just a palm reading.
Thanks for the article, by the way! :)
tc: it's so much fun! of course, I've never gotten a death warning or anything...that could put a damper on the festivities.

bub: could you understand what they were saying? Or did you mentally fill in the blank of your own fortune?

mona: I know!!! I was hoping for the same thing! Mel was a bit less than enthusiastic, though.

m: ooooh. I hadn't considered that. You could have turned a quick trick while I was getting my reading!

tc: no prob :-)
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