growing in the goo

So this Saturday night I was meeting up with a friend...I was "dressing to impress," with a new white sweater dress and my favorite fuzzy boots (to be fair, I only have one pair of those). It was nothing too revealing—it's a loose dress, and turtleneck at that. And while it's shortish, it's nothing ridic.

A random possibly homeless guy hanging out near CVS told me that I looked beautiful. I said thank you. I thought that was rather nice of him, and appreciated the compliment since I felt like I was stepping a bit out of my style comfort zone. All positive feedback is appreciated, and even though I know homeless guys hand out those things like candy, it's still cool.

So I met up with the friend, and we were walking down P St., and it was pretty quiet. Someone was walking toward us, but I didn't take notice since he seemed normal. Your average pedestrian.

Well, when he got close to us, he pointed to me, and said,

"YOU with your BOOTS! You kick up leaves in those BOOTS and force men to go home and MASTURBATE ALONE!"

My response: Wide eyes and a quiet "Oh!"

Like, did he just say the M-word?