growing in the goo

Just to get this out of the way...I'm watching TV and just saw another match.com ad. And I just gotta say, they are NOT reeling me in. If anything, they turn me off. There's that really maniacal juggling person, and there's someone laughing like she's high, and people giving sideways looks...and then on the radio they have some guy laughing in a self-deprecating manner of how he sleepwalks and goes to bed with his socks on. Those are endearing traits that I'd like to eventually learn about someone, not traits that are used to hook me in.

(and yes, admittedly I'm guilty of gabbing about my obnoxious sleep habits, but I'm not doing it to advertise.)

OH, and I hate those chemistry.com ads. You were rejected by eharmony. Deal. They don't have to accept you, and to be honest, you all sound like a bunch of whiners. So can it and stop looking desperate.

I fear that the past couple of days I've developed some weird "oil that greases the wheel" vibe about me. Now, before I go sounding all egotistical, let me explain. It started yesterday evening. I was on the Metro heading back from the stupid gym, and I was standing in my spot across from the door. Even though I like to eavesdrop, I went against my usual M.O. and put on my iPod in order to hit my daily quota of 20 listens of "So Close" from Enchanted. SO GOOD.

We get to Metro Center, people efficiently file in and out, as they are supposed to do. The door chimed, and one side shut, but the left side stayed open. The doors chimed again, the left side of the door stayed open, then tried to shut again...but didn't. Everyone was staring at it dumbfounded. In no mood to miss LOST, I went over and tugged on the plastic part of the door, and slid it shut.

The train took off. While heading to the next stop, I was thinking about the possible ramifications of my actions. What if the door was actually broken, and someone leaned against it, and fell out? I mean, even though the sign says "PLEASE DO NOT LEAN AGAINST DOORS," I'm always doing it. Always. Then it would be my fault, since I forced the door shut. As we rolled into Chinatown, I decided that I would contact the conductor if it had issues again.

Luckily the door decided to function normally, and all was well.

Fast Forward to Today—needing a surge of caffeine I strode into Starbucks at 3:20ish. I was shocked to see that it was full...I had been in work mode, in our empty office, and hadn't expected anyone to be around. But, alas, there were. Okay, so...at my work Starbucks, there is one main line and two registers. There is a column in between the two registers, so if someone is directly in line behind one line, they can't see that the other is open.

So, I was enjoying my little break in the aromatic local coffeehouse, even though it did involve standing in line. But...the line. It wasn't working right. The register to the right was empty, but the next guy in line wasn't moving toward it. I didn't particularly mind, but the cashier at the second register was giving me significant looks. As if he expected me to do something about it! I decided to actually earn the occasional employee discount that they throw my way, so I gingerly stepped up a few feet and tapped the guy on the shoulder, and sweetly gave him the 411. He didn't really seem too grateful, but shuffled to the right cashier and made his order.

Then, against all odds (who ARE these people?! Mormons?!), it happened again. The guy at the register said "Next!" and gave me another significant look. In turn, I looked back at him and looked pointedly to my left. The cashier got the hint and got the attention of the other guy without my help.

I felt all line Nazi for clueing in the first guy, because, well, I sometimes do get annoyed when people don't know what to do in the Starbucks line. I don't care if they order their drink wrong (I do that all the time), but it shocks me when people don't use common sense. Like when they make the line wrap all around the stupid display instead of just going to the right. But it's times like those that make me realize that I'm wrapped a bit too tight. And it makes me chuckle and chill.

One more thing. I guess sitting alone watching TV on a Friday night leaves me chatty...to my blog.

Post-work I headed toward the Metro (notice a pattern? work. metro. starbucks. work. gym. tv. scintillating.). I hopped on the escalator and noticed a bit of a jam. A quarter of the way down there was this couple standing. Side-by-side. Oblivious. People quickly piled up behind them. A guy stepped down beside me, and gave me a tiny embarrassed smile as he passed and stopped on the step in front of me. A woman walked down, stopped next to me, and said "Tourists." a bit pissily, but quietly.

I looked behind me to marvel at how fast the action piles up—just like in those Visa commercials!—and the woman behind me smiled. A couple of steps back, I heard someone else say "Tourists!" and a male responded, quite indulgently, "Well, I guess it is Friday."

Miracle of miracles, no one bitched at them. Can you believe it? Humanity and charity in the darkness of the commute!