Saturday, August 16, 2008
hello from the dating trenches!
I would have never thought of myself as someone who needed fireworks to get something going, but a while ago I realized (even before that blah date) that I am that kind of girl who *does* want sparks right off the bat. I've felt a connection on a first date before, and now I'll settle for nothing less. Well, actually, I will settle for less because I have a three-date rule before ruling anyone out...BUT I adhere to that rule begrudgingly.
At any rate. I signed on to eharmony tonight to "cancel" my subscription - aka take away their right to automatically charge my credit card in September when it's time to renew. Even the cancellation process was...a process. I had to answer 10 multiple choice questions, and one short answer. And at every turn they gave me a chance to back out of my bad decision that will apparently tear me asunder from my soul mate, who is just waiting for me to sign online and open my superficial eyes to his previously overlooked profile.
This is all to say that somehow I ended up reading an eharmony article that described the "summer fashions that will turn your date cold." Capris are number one. Also on the list were "faux gold pieces" (oh, pardon me, let me whip out my credit card to buy some 24k necklaces and bracelets), and "anything sparkly." Since that just about constitutes my entire wardrobe, guess I'm hitting up my next date naked.
I started reading the comments after the article and was pleased to see that other girls disagreed with the so-called expert who wrote the piece. On the second page of comments, I can across this one from a nice man in Illinois (...or was it Indiana?).
"Here's a tip for the ladies. Dress well for the first date. Business attire allows you to stuff, tuck or hide whatever physical imperfections you have and it shows a lot of class. Many guys are looking for a soulmate that LOOKS GOOD when in public. Everybody can be sloppy at home or after casual familiarity allows people to look not-so-great, but start it off on a high note so some chemistry can develop. Let's be really honest, if there is any shallowness to men it is that we want other men to think we chose wisely. Public settings are where the couple needs to look good for their own ego boost and pride in each other.
And just a quick rave to the attorney I was matched with recently...in one of her photos she had on a pearl necklace and a business appropriate blouse on. Wow. I have a thing for women that look like they are a future senator's spouse. So classy, so elegant, so conservative."Okay, first of all, ICK. Second of all, ICK. Moving beyond the self-importance of offering "a tip for the ladies" that involves the actions of stuffing, tucking, and hiding, did he just say "future senator's SPOUSE" - ?! What about a future senator, you prick?
Um, hello?!?! Is fashion really that important?!?! Seriously? You're going to totally cut someone out because of that?
And... correct me if I'm wrong because I have yet to try online dating... but I thought that eharmony supposedly matched people on the the deeper things... so if it's about meeting on the intellectual levels, etc., then why on earth are these guys harping on looks so much? (Not that looks don't matter on some level to everyone, but this seems a bit superficial and ridiculous to me for a site that usually claims to be about soul-mate matches, not 'sexy' matches.)
tc: yeah. I mean, it was an article about clothes, but the guy was a bittt too full of himself. And trust me. He didn't have any reason to be that way.
The thing is, eharmony is so painfully unhip that they should just stick to what they know, and leave fashion to everyone else.
As far as looking good on the first date, well, if you don't that's why God invented beer... to help us get over it.
And TC, for the tighty whities, those girls are right on! Everyone knows those compress and squeeze, probably making it less likely they'll conceive... they just don't want to waste their time.
Oh, and Meg, wear the capris, it a true test to see what he thinks of you as a person
Cam, it's so nice to have a comment aimed my way from you :) It's been awhile.
And thanks for the tighty whighty lesson, but I have to tell you that I know several people whose father's wore them... like pretty much ALL of our generation?