Monday, October 13, 2008


all sorts of changes!

Since I should be unpacking (the necessities, at least), I naturally feel semi-compelled to blog.

First things first: The hot air balloon ride that was scheduled for this weekend did not happen. I had been worried about high winds; ironically, it was the lack of wind that did the trip in. It didn't help that there was a hot air balloon casualty on Saturday in New Mexico - that made the pilot more cautious, probably. I'm bummed that I didn't get to go, but there's going to be another opportunity at some point. And it's obviously better to be safe than sorry.

Visiting D.C. for homecoming was a lot of fun...though I think that perhaps I've begun to reconcile my "new life" here and start to see myself as being a permanent fixture in Massachusetts. As long as I was still job searching there was always a part of me that I was holding back, just in case. Just in case I couldn't find a job here I needed to be able to move on to someplace else (NYC? Back to DC? Australia? Who knew.), if the job market forced that hand. But now that I have a job, I find myself looking ahead to a future that has Boston in it. A real picture of my life here is slowly gathering shape and details as all these missing pieces start to float into the frame.

I loved loved loved seeing my friends, and I miss them so much. Talking online and on the phone is fun and all, but it doesn't touch getting a beer or a meal together. But, as someone had forced upon me at my good-bye party in May, the truth is that you really can't go home again. Things always change. Or you change. Something's different. I got that rush when I saw the Capitol dome, but somehow I didn't make it to a museum this weekend, or to the Mall. I know I was busy, but that's downright freakish. That deviation from my norm makes it clear to me that I'm not moving back. I'll visit, obviously. But as far as things go right now, I'm sticking here.

Another change hit me at the end of last week. I had stubbornly believed in the idea that someone had changed...and I was open to perpetually setting myself up for being hurt by really closing my eyes to someone's character and believing that there was more to our as-of -until-Wednesday strong connection than physical attraction.

So, if you're reading this - and you probably are - know that I thank you for not responding to my text, when I said that I couldn't meet up with you because I couldn't go through it again. It really showed to me, finally, who you are and what you wanted from me. Before, when I said that we were done and that I'd never talk to you ever again, I was sad about it. This time...there's no sadness. Just relief.

A lot happened at the bar this weekend - one really bad obnoxious thing that almost made me swear the place off forever - and then, as if the gods of the college bar detected that I was at my wit's end, I was reeled back in at the last moment with some great times. But, unfortunately, I've run out of steam and it's time for bed.

Talking online and on the phone is fun and all, but it doesn't touch getting a beer or a meal together.

I went through that pity party myself Friday night. I wanted one -or both - of my best friends and neither one of them answered their phones when I called. Some days technology is enough to hold it all together, but some days you need a real, physical hug, to see that smile in person. You need real interaction.

There is a commercial out right now about "making face time." It shows a group of teens laughing on a bed and the words "chatroom full" come up, then other scenes and messages like "the original instant message" play. I actually love it. I think it's a great concept and a reminder that we need that face-to-face interaction more than we sometimes realize.

It's just easier said than done when your best friends live 1852 and 1118 miles away from you.

P.S. I never got your text, sorry! ;-)
I want to hear about your job! I need to know that's hope - that people can indeed get jobs in this economy and especially in the editorial industry.
haha tc. We're still talking. Even though we had a miscommunication a few weeks ago ;-)

robert: don't give up!!!
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