Sunday, November 09, 2008


a little wee time capsule of sorts

So I'm FINALLY cleaning out my backpack - I had shoved a bunch of things in it way back in...May...when I left D.C., shoved it in my closet, and I've been tripping over the thing ever since.

Curious about what treasures the pink bag was concealing (and high on the find of a brand-new Clinique eyeliner that I had given up for lost in a pocketbook), I opened it up and found all sorts of sentimental things - a few newspaper clippings, a bunch of cards from C-note and E, three pictures from my Gettysburg trip that I had printed out (and therefore, the only three left since my computer had crashed shortly after that trip) and - FOUR journals in various states of completion. Two completely full, two that started strong then pathetically petered out after a month or so.

I cringe when I read some things (and these babies aren't old...the set begins in 2001 and is in no way comprehensive of all the years) - I cannot believe that I wrote about some of the mean bouncers at the Times as possible relationship prospects!!

So, one entry made me stop and laugh and gave me a squeeze of the heart...almost as I were eavesdropping on myself. To give you an idea of what was going on in Meg's Life at this time, I was in the fall semester of senior year, with NO clue of where I was going to work or where I was going to live after graduation, and my significant other relationship was showing definite strain.

Here's part of it, from Oct 30, 2004.
I definitely just checked my away messages as a form of procrastination...I was just thinking of how when I'm 25, I'll have a whole other set of problems. They'll probably suck! Not a cheery thought, but it's nice to think that I'll have some things figured out. I may not be married, but at least I'll know my mind...right?

And then, a few days later on Nov. 2 (Election Day).
Really, this whole election just made me think - 'In 4 years, during our next election, where will I be? Will I be a dork and wear red, white, and blue again? Will...*S.O.* be in my life? Will I be living in Boston?' And uhh...this is all assuming I'm still alive, of course (knock on wood.) ... A good quote - "Maturity is the ability to endure uncertainty." - John Finley (no idea who the heck he is!)

It kind of shocks me to know that I am in a position to answer all those questions that I had forgotten that I had asked. Twenty-five. What a silly age for me to pick. It's almost like a 11-year-old thinking that a 15-year-old is so old and wise and mature, when everyone else knows that the 15-year-old is just as clueless as before.

Okay, so. To state the obvious. I am most certainly not married. And I most certainly do not "know my mind" - although I would LIKE to think that I'm a lot more confident and sure of myself than I was when I was 21. But who really knows, to be honest.

As for the whole other set of problems, I do think that that period was a particularly tough time for me, and luckily I'm not really dealing with a "set of problems" at the moment. If you had asked me a month ago when I was still unemployed, yeah. Or five months ago when moving back to Massachusetts was an experiment, yeah. But now I have a job and I'm seeing this place as my home for the next five years, at least (for better or for worse!). The only box missing a check is the boyfriend box, but that can't really be classified as a problem. More adventure to be had. Kind of like Egypt 2009. And becoming a better scuba diver. And learning how to surf (or, attempting to learn how to surf). And taking that hot air balloon ride. And learning to fly (thanks, Jordin Sparks).

And I love the Election Day questions, since it was recent enough for me to say with all certainty what I was doing, where I was, what I wearing, etc. this past Tuesday.

Where will I be?: I was at Kings in Boston, at an Election Night Party, with free bowling after 9 p.m. Ding ding ding! And though I didn't ask this, I'm sure I was wondering who I'd be with: I was bowling alongside friends and great people I hadn't yet met in May 2008, nevermind October of 2004.

Wearing red, white, and blue?: I wore black boots with black and white socks with skulls on them (don't worry, no one could see them, except when I was bowling...ha), a purple corduroy skirt that hits above the knee, and my black turtleneck. I was wishing that I had a beautiful red dress to wear on Election Day (even though I voted blue, I look better in red), but alas...I do not own such a garment. So even though I did not wear red, white, and blue, the desire was there.

Will S.O. be in my life?: I can tell I thought I was being so clever slipping that in there after the clothes and scenery questions, as if it wasn't the top thing on my mind. Shockingly, yes, S.O. is in my life, but as a friend. As C-note knows...this was an up and down thing, and at one time I was sorely tempted to fly to England (where he was studying grad school) JUST to throw rotten eggs at his window. Luckily for him (and possibly my international police record?), I was too poor. So, it is seemingly against all odds that I say that we have a healthy friendship now. It's great how some things work out, and how some wonderful people come in and out of your life, after you've written them out of the picture for good.

Will I be living in Boston?: I don't suppose I had anticipated my 2.5-year sojourn in D.C. when I wrote that...I think I saw it as D.C. or Boston, not D.C. and Boston. But, here I am.

Assuming I'm still alive...: Woo!!!! Here's to making it this far :-)

I need to step it up on my current journal. I was so badass with some of them, cutting out quotes, laminating cute cartoons, saving fortune cookies, etc. It was a joy to open (a joy for me alone, that is). Perhaps if I look at it as a future present to me (like a 401k! that I need to actually contribute to!), I'll be more dedicated. Or if I write shit like "When I'm 35, I wonder if I'll be pursuing an alternate career in wedding planning, but will be unmarried, like J-Lo in "The Wedding Planner," I'll feel compelled to look back.

What an awesome election day post. You've really outdone yourself!

Although, I guess it's not really all an election day post, but I guess it is the theme.
I like the idea of looking at it as a present to yourself in the future. I kept a journal the entire time I was in Spain, and I've reread parts of it from time to time. It is kind of like a gift. It's good to have that back - even the silly, foolish stuff.
Glad you made he still alive part of your prediction!
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